I just wanted to clarify from the last post that I don't really mind poverty. I do get some sort of perverse joy of being practical and frugal. That being said, I am exhausted and don't know if I want to continue my vaguely boho student lifestyle.
Up to recently I thought I wanted a lot of things. World peace, equality of marriage, a less psychotic mother, have a day when everyone I encountered was really great and on top of their game. For health insurance companies to pretend to be competent. Evolution and global warming to be universally recognized. Sleater-Kinney to reunite. Writing to not be a pain staking process. For people in academia to realize it is not a zero-sum game to the death. Once and a while not having to be the one who compromises to make things go smoothly.
But as the writing continues to go poorly...maybe it's the nerves talking.
All I want is to make peace with the work I'm doing. Maybe have a good meal with friends.
Can't wait to see you, dB.
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